Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
