I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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