After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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