my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
