we have pet lesbian snakes
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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