at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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