Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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