Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
