having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
