I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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