he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
