My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
how can u be prego again
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
