Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Randomize
