Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
