I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
