This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
