So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You smell like a Billy Joel song
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
