Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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