WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
