Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
