I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
