Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Even my vagina gasped.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
