You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
