No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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