i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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