you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
