Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
