Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
