Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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