You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The struggles of a small town man whore
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
