24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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