do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize