My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
