I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
