Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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