addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
