This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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