stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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