I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
