Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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