I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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