Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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