I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
