Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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