My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
