We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
