i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
