just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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