His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
