Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
