I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
